Ask Peter: Dealing with Self-Esteem Issues

There’s a huge stereotype surrounding men. They always have to be strong, smart, witty and confident, even when they are going through a rough patch of their lives. Oftentimes, as soon as you show any sign of weakness, you might get a bunch of judgmental comments which can be disastrous for your self-esteem. While I personally find myself in a very good place mentally today, just not that long time ago, I feel much less confident. Unfortunately, there are so many men out there who still struggle with self-esteem no matter if their insecurities stem from the way they look, their financial situation or any other aspect of their lives. Here are a few things I used to battle depression and anxiety and boost my self-esteem. 

Be more mindful

When I say mindful, no, you don’t have to spend two hours a day in lotus position meditating to the sounds of the rainforest. At its core, being mindful means being focused on the here and now and ditching all fears or judgments. When practicing this technique, you need to engage all your senses and become truly aware of your position in time and space. It might sound silly, but even bodybuilders use mindfulness while lifting weights to grow bigger muscles and prevent injury! This technique can be practiced anywhere and it will help you become a more centered and self-confident man. 

Improve your look

In order to become the best and most confident version of yourself, you need to push the envelope with your spirituality, but also do the same with your aesthetics. Sometimes, accepting changes will open up many new doors for you. For instance, leave your comfort zone when it comes to fashion and try something new. Even a small change can have a huge impact on how you feel about yourself. Add a bowtie to your shirt or experiment with bolder shoes. Not sure about making such “drastic” steps? Why not try something new with your underwear? Even if no one sees your men’s sexy underwear, you will know they are there and you’ll feel a huge boost in confidence. Today, a new pair of bodl briefs, tomorrow, the world!

Be accepting of your flaws 

While being the best version of yourself and constantly improving will boost your confidence, it will all be in vain if you don’t learn how to handle your failures. They will always be present in your life, no matter how hard you try, so instead of letting them crush you, you should take them as lessons and learn from them. 

Change your tape

This is probably the hardest part of dealing with low self-esteem issues, but also the most important one. If you can learn how to carefully choose your thoughts, you’ll see a huge difference in the way you feel. Negative thoughts are much louder than positive ones, but they too can be tuned out and replaced by the thoughts and words of encouragement. List all positive things you have to say about yourself and remind yourself how awesome you actually are. Confident men do this every day—it’s like a small pep talk from yourself to yourself! 

Long story short, the first step to confidence is self-acceptance and only then you can try to change and improve. Today I feel like a man I always knew I was, but it took a lot of work. I dress up, I meditate, I learn and I improve every day in order to be the best version of myself. While you must learn how to accept some of your flaws and failures, you also need to understand that something needs to change and you can’t continue down the path of self-pity, depression and anxiety. Once you start changing and working your way up from that pit of unhappiness, amazing things will start to happen!

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