Ask Peter: His Bachelor Party

As much as couples I know are ecstatic about tying the knot, there is one little pre-wedding event that drives many people crazy, and by people, I mean future brides. While some of my gal pals who got married were all cool as cucumbers regarding their guys’ bachelor party, the latest one to put on the wedding dress (we’ll call her Melissa), was practically sick to her stomach. She has a tendency to overthink and is at times quite insecure. Now, if the guy in question was a player, I would probably support her idea of vetoing the entire event, but as I knew the groom pretty well too, I did my best to convince her not to unleash her inner bridezilla, trust her man and let him have some fun. Now, from my experience with bachelor parties, I gave a few compelling arguments and a touch of insight of what really goes on at your run-of-the-mill party of this variety. It helped her understand that it’s not really that big of a deal, and if my advice proved helpful for an obsessive over-thinker, I am more than sure you’ll find it helpful too.

A night like any other

First of all, bachelor parties are not what they used to be, and they’re definitely not all the same. For example, one of the parties I attended was super mellow, just a bunch of guys playing poker, smoking cigars and having some whiskey. Sure, they got drunk, there was some groom-roasting involved, but all in all, a regular guy’s night. That was the first story I told her, and it seemed to put her mind at ease a little, so I told her another one.

his bachelor party

A classy event

I wanted to say “a classy affair” but I was worried that the particular choice of words might spark something in a future bride. Jokes aside, this was one of the classiest bachelor parties I’ve been to. The best man knew that the groom has a taste for finer things, so he organized a classy party. He booked an upscale venue and threw a private party. The only ‘twist’ was that he hired a couple of girls from Sydney Topless Waitresses to spice things up a bit, visually. The reason why this was a much more suitable alternative to going to a strip bar was the fact that these are classy girls who just happen to be serving you drinks topless. You’re not allowed to touch them, and they’re there to do their job and not make or accept advances from guys. They were eye candy, and not the kind you can grab a bite of. Truth be told, after half an hour we barely noticed the girls. Everyone went about drinking and dancing, and the girls only passed drinks around. The groom himself was happy that the event didn’t feature strippers, and this was a great alternative that livened up the party and added class to it.

The bar crawl

Ok, this one got a little rowdy, but again, not in a way she fears her fiancé’s would be. It was a classic bar crawl where boys traditionally go from bar to bar looking to get as wasted as they possibly can. Again, while single members of the crew were trying to flirt with girls, the groom-to-be simply got drunk, played pool and darts (quite badly I have to add), and aside from the fact that there was some nausea (and nausea-related stuff in the bathroom) going on, everyone made it home in one piece. Aside from the best man who managed to hook up with some girl, everyone went home empty-handed because girls weren’t even on their mind, and the groom himself (aside from the drunkenness) was a complete angel.

So, after telling her the story of the three typical bachelor parties and what really goes on during that dreaded and notorious night, her mind was completely put at ease. This is just a way for a guy to relax, unwind and goof around with his friends, some of which he hasn’t seen in a long time. The bottom line is, he’s marrying you because he’s head over heels for you, and he wouldn’t jeopardize that just to cop a feel with some stripper. Most guys I know even said that the idea of strippers is tired, and you end up spending too much money and miss out on all the bonding when in a place like a strip club. So, if you’re as insecure about your guy’s bachelor party, don’t be, because the reality is actually far duller than your busy ‘jump to the worst case scenario’ mind tends to think of them. Cut your guy some slack and trust him.

Peter Minkoff, Associate Editor

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