Ask Peter: How to Avoid Awkward Moments at a First Date

Whoever did not have a catastrophic first date among you can cast the first stone. Really, we all had our fair share of dates-gone-bad. You know that feeling when you’re watching a movie and you feel embarrassed because of the cast’s failures? Now, remember the scene from “When Harry Met Sally” and the infamous double date. Well, I rate my dates based on that criteria: How awkward was it on a scale from zero to “my date hooked up with someone else almost in front of my eyes”. Although a large portion of dates from hell is a peculiar case of fate swooping on you, some of them can be avoided, and the damage can be minimized or even completely eliminated. Now you are probably waiting for the miraculous “How”, but the truth is that there is no single answer to all of your questions, so we’ll take it slow.

We can all agree that the most common awkwardness at a first date is the annoying silence that happens once you are done with all the “Where are you from?” and “What do you do in life” questions. Guys usually try to break the silence with (not so funny) jokes, and girls, well, they ask a ton of questions like “What’s your favorite color?”, or they just sit there twirling their hair. First, you need to accept that the silence when you first get to know someone is quite normal, and you will not have interesting topics throughout the evening, unless you are true soulmates. But if you are truly interested in the person you are dating, questions will pop up by themselves. Actually the best advice for breaking the awkward silence comes from the world of journalism – don’t ask only the questions which can be answered with ‘yes’ and ‘no’.

first date

Also the “Que sera sera” approach won’t get you anywhere. Yes, traditionally planning the date is left to the male half, but you can also have a plan. This doesn’t mean you should have reminders of what to say and when to say it, but you should “work out the logistic”, such as who will pay, will you go somewhere after the dinner, what kind of venue is unacceptable for you, etc. If you want to work on this more you can find great dating tips for girls online from experts who really know what they are talking about. This will help you be prepared for various outcomes.

Now, if you’ve made it till the end of the evening without a single embarrassing situation, it’s still not the time to rejoice. There is still one little pitfall – the matter of the ‘good night kiss’. Plenty of girls and boys around the world despair when the kiss goodbye doesn’t happen and they see that as the end of their romance before it even started. That is far from being true. A kiss is an action that shouldn’t be forced and a “lukewarm” kiss is worse than no kiss at all. So, don’t press the issue. It will either happen or not. If not, and if you’ve really enjoyed the evening, ask when you will see each other again, and send a text the next day telling you had a great time. Who knows, maybe the second date is when the chemistry happens?

~ Peter Minkoff, Associate Editor

Trackbacks

  1. […] Besides writing, Peter has worked as a couple coach for many dating events around UK & AU.   To check out some of his other articles, read this one on how Millennials Changed the Dating Game and this one for How to Avoid Awkward Moments on a First Date. […]

  2. […] Besides writing, Peter has worked as a couple coach for many dating events around UK & AU.   To check out some of his other articles, read this one on how Millennials Changed the Dating Game and this one for How to Avoid Awkward Moments on a First Date. […]

  3. […] Besides writing, Peter has worked as a couples coach for many dating events.   To check out some of his other articles, read this one on how Millennials Changed the Dating Game.  Oh, and this one for How to Avoid Awkward Moments on a First Date. […]

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