6 Tips for Surviving Divorce

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There is a general saying that states “it is better to have a good divorce than a bad marriage”. Certainly, there is not much good about going through a divorce, since you are overwhelmed by anxiety, apprehension, sadness and fear of the unknown. However, you should not be too alarmed because you are not the only one who has gone through this difficult process, and here is some useful advice to help you ease the proceeding.

Acknowledge the change

No matter how long the marriage lasted, which side got the wrong end of the stick, or who is handling the situation worse, be aware that you are in for a difficult period. Firstly, you should try to mentally recognize that this is actually happening. Then, don’t start overthinking what went wrong or justifying your decision. If the divorce is round the corner, then a bad atmosphere has been irrevocable. You should focus on your inner self and try to do the things that you love, and didn’t have a chance to do while you were with your partner. Also, you have to look at this new change as a striving opportunity to do something new and challenging without hesitation.

Seek for the right assistance

If you have already decided that the divorce is the only way out of the tormented life that you had been living, then getting a professional help which would secure the best divorce is a must. Finding a good family lawyer in Sydney is the first step to take, in that way you would guarantee yourself a competent legal advice necessary in that situation. Also, experts would ensure that you go through the entire process according to law, and without causing you additional stress.

Be in an amiable environment

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Something that you shouldn’t do is be alone while going through the divorce. One of the best tips is to constantly be surrounded by the closest friends and family. Don’t go clubbing immediately but a nice night out to a local pub will surely do you good. Also, your true friends should always be there to give you a shoulder to cry on and provide support by any means possible. On the other hand, bear in mind that only your family members and close relatives would be always next to you to provide irrevocable help and they would never trick and deceive you. Divorce is a mentally and physically demanding process, it would be a good idea to try to reconnect with some old friends, no matter male or female, the goal is to be around people you like.

“Tomorrow is a new day”

Things and issues that have been unsuccessful and unfortunate today, can easily change tomorrow, because with every single new sunrise comes a new opportunity. That is one of the key elements that you should strive for when going through a difficult divorce. Try to completely change your old habits, get up later, go cycling to work, organize movie nights, or take up a new hobby. Doing yoga, learning a foreign language, learning to play an instrument, for instance, are all fantastic options. Why not indulge yourself in something more adventurous? Go hiking and exploring, try bungee jumping and similar. You would be surprised what positive effects you will get, moreover they are all great distractions and present an opportunity to meet new people.

Don’t blame and condemn

No matter whose fault is it, the worst thing that you can do is start blaming each other. What is done is done, and the best thing is to let everything go. It most surely isn’t easy since you both have gone through a lot, but the sooner you realize that you have to do the things on your own the sooner you would be able to move on. It might be a cliché but try to forgive your ex. After doing that your surviving process will be easier and smoother, there is no need to be resentful towards each other. Another thing is that if you allow your past to overwhelm you, you will never be able ready to take up future challenges.

Move on

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One of the hardest yet the most important things to do is to continue living your life without restrictions and hesitations. It is absolutely necessary to find a good therapist to help you with the first days of your divorce, later try to get familiar with your emotions. Cry as much as you can, it won’t solve the problem but it will certainly do you good. Move forward by firstly forgiving yourself and others, and definitely, don’t go thinking about “what ifs”.

With all the above being said, there are no magical situations, neither a cure or a medicament to remove the pain. Unfortunately, it all comes down to you, your personality, willingness and strength, and that is something that you must acknowledge as soon as possible, and you will be feeling your old self in no time.

Helen Bradford, Associate Editor

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